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When the Mating Game
    �Becomes the Waiting Game

Dear Philippa:

I keep meeting men who I am very interested in, and they seem very interested in me. But, between their work and children, these men are too busy to give me all the time I would like to talk and keep in touch. This makes me anxious because I don't feel like I can call them. What can I do?

�Jennie, Palo Alto, California


Dear Jennie:

Why do we always seem to pursue the ones who can't give us what we need? Then we turn ourselves into pretzels trying to be the kind of person who fits into someone else's lifestyle. No wonder we feel anxious and off balance. It's time for you to step back, take a deep breath, and do something radical.

Start thinking about what you want in someone for a change. What qualities in someone make you happiest? Sounds like the first thing on your list is someone who keeps in touch and makes you feel like you are an important part of their life. There are men out there who are naturally that way. And, when all the other parts of the compatibility and chemistry puzzle fit, they would love talking to and being with you. Don't waste your energy trying to change yourself or anyone else.

Each of us needs to find someone who is in sync with our style. Start believing that you deserve someone in your life who likes keeping in touch with you and who makes you a priority. Once you can clearly imagine how it feels to have this person in your life, you'll start finding these men almost literally coming out of the woodwork. Define what other aspects of someone are important to you, so you can have these other compatibility factors clearly in your mind as you meet people.

Keep in mind that what one person calls needy, another person calls being close.

Jennie, you just have to find the right person for you.


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