A group of friends and I just had a fabulous weekend together skiing. There was this one gorgeous guy at the lodge where we were staying that I got talking to for a little while. My friends and I don't see each other much so we'd agreed to just ski and hang out together. So I didn't spend much time talking to the hunk. A week after I got back I got a call from the HR department where I work. There was some guy trying to find me. He'd left his number. It was the guy from the ski lodge. I don't remember telling him exactly where I worked so he must have called every department store in town to find me. Should I call and go out with him? My friends told me to be careful.
�Sally, Denver, Colorado
Your friends are right�be very cautious because you don't know anything about this guy (he could be some kind of nut). But, you should also enjoy the attention.
Even if you choose not to meet this man, its flattering and romantic in this day and age when a man feels he must go to the trouble, this guy went to, to find the woman of his dreams. Now, we don't know if Mr. Ski Buns does this kind of thing regularly and just loves the chase, or whether he has just fallen for the fantasy of you. Either of these scenarios is possible. He may also just be a genuine guy who is immensely attracted and taken with you.
You won't know which is right answer unless you talk to him. If you want to find out, I suggest you call him from work or a phone that blocks caller ID and speak to him directly. Do not under any circumstances leave your phone number in response to his voice mail. If you reach his voice mail just let him know that you will be calling him back, specifying a day and time and would appreciate him being there. When you talk to him make sure you get his home phone number. This way if down the road he turns out to be problem, he can be traced.
Enjoy the conversation and listen to your instincts. If the tone of his voice or any thing he says puts you off, tell him that you seriously involved with someone else, but thanks anyway. If you do decide to meet him, arrange to do so at a familiar place near where you work (keep your home territory out of it until you know more about him). You may want to have a friend be there, discretely in the background, while you meet and talk to this guy. At this point use the same judgment you would in any new dating situation. Take your time to get to know him before sharing your home phone number.
Mr. Ski Buns may turn out to be your Prince Charming or just an exciting interlude, enjoy the moment, even if it turns out to be just a fantasy.