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Love in a Small Town

Dear Philippa:

I live in a very small town. Everybody I know has been out with just about everybody we all know. I'm thinking of trying to meet someone online. But what's the point? I don't think I want to move to some big town if the guy lives there. And he sure wouldn't want to live here. Any ideas?

�Rebecca, Oklahoma


Dear Rebecca,

The larger matchmaking web sites allow you to meet people in your general geographic area. You need to find a web site that covers a larger (I didn't say big city) town near you.

No one knows when he or she first meets someone if this is the kind of person they would want to marry and move from their town to be with. Who knows, maybe there is a great guy out there who will think you are everything he is looking for, including your smaller town life. Maybe he's someone who works from his home so it doesn't matter where he lives, or he's tired of the corporate rat race and ready for a slower pace life.

Maybe, after getting to know this great guy and visiting him, you'll realize you like his town and you want to move there. Be open, anything is possible if you take some action instead of just wishing things would change.

You could play up the positive aspects of being a "small town girl" in your ad or profile. Many small town guys who move to bigger cities for their careers still hanker after the simplicity of the girls back home.

Look at meeting people online as an adventure and a way to make new friends, not necessarily leading to a marriage proposal. Meeting people online is also a great way to learn about different types of people, to get in some practice dating, and to figure out what you really want. It's also nice to know there are people out there interested in you. Remember that you don't need to meet anyone, especially if it doesn't feel right.

Another approach you might try if you belong to a church in your town is to ask your pastor to organize single's mixers with other churches from other nearby towns. That way you and all your single friends could have a chance to meet some new people.

Rebecca, focus on what you do want, not on what you think you can't have. Love is always around the corner, you just have to prepare yourself so you are ready to find it.


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