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Asking Out the Office Babe

Dear Philippa:

There's a very attractive new woman who just started working at my company. Of course, I'm not the only one interested in her. We've chatted about projects a few times. I'd like to ask her out to lunch but I don't want to appear like the other guys in the office who are nearly falling over each other trying to score points. Any advice?

�George, Denver, CO


Dear George,

I have to admit I chuckled when I read your letter. Believe me, I can assure you that this new woman knows she is the latest attraction. Whether it's the new cute boy or girl in school, or the new attorney at a law firm, when you are new and good looking, people seem to regress to childhood and compete for you like you're the latest prize. Of course, when the newness wears off, the hunt seems to cool down too.

You sound like you are aware of your officemates' embarrassingly obvious behavior. Are you also aware that this new woman may be uncomfortable with all this attention? After all she has started a new job and like anybody else, she wants to be judged on the merits of her work performance.

If it were me, I would welcome the sincere friendship of a guy who didn't have a hidden agenda, someone who wanted to show me the ropes, and most of all�someone who wanted to get to know who I was.

You don't seem to know much about this woman other than the fact that she is very attractive. How do you know that you would get on with each other on a personal or romantic basis? You don't know her personal circumstances. She may already be in a serious relationship, have been recently divorced, or be a struggling single mother.

Try looking at things more logically and put your hormones on hold. If she weren't the "new office babe" and if she weren't so obviously attractive, would you still be interested in getting to know her? Hard to answer those questions, isn't it? Take your time; get to really know this woman as a colleague. Then, when you ask her to lunch and she gladly says yes, you can both sail out the office and leave the wolves salivating at the door.



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