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Approaching the Hotel Hunk

Dear Philippa,

Recently I saw the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen standing in the lobby of a hotel where I was attending a business conference. I don't know why I did it, but I went up to him and pretended to be from out of town. I said I was attending a conference and needed directions to a landmark not far from there. Well, he not only knew the way there and walked me over, but he ended up asking me out too. I quickly said yes, but it would have to wait until the next time I was in town. Now, how do I tell him I actually live here, in Springfield?

�Wendy, Springfield, VA


Dear Wendy,

Don't you think this guy knew you were interested in him in the first place? After all, hotel concierges are there to give directions. He was probably flattered and liked the idea of helping a lady in distress.

I believe that the hotel hunk will also be flattered when you tell him that you made up the out-of-town story as a way to approach him. Unless however, he has a steady girlfriend in town and this creates an undesirable complication. Even in this case, you have nothing to lose by being honest. Although it would have been better if you had felt confident enough tell him the truth after he had asked you out.

What you did is understandable�people need conversation openers. When men use these mechanisms we call them pick-up lines. This kind of experience helps women understand what men historically have had to deal with when they approach women. (If the tables were turned, I have the feeling that the woman might be suspicious and less flattered when she found out the guy had misrepresented himself when he asked her out.)

Ideally, you should know that you don't need to make up a story to approach anybody. You could have asked him if he was attending a conference there too�how you wished you were from out of town so you could play tourist instead of attending a stuffy meeting, etc. He would have found the attention flattering and got the message that you are interested. At that point, when you smile your winning smile, he might ask you out, invite you to share a drink in the bar, or agree that both of you should play hooky together from your business obligation. You could suggest any of those options too, or just leave the ball in his court to see what happens.

Now the question is, are you going to tell him the truth on the phone or when you get together in person? I suggest that you save it for when you are face to face so you can read his body language and he can be reminded of how attractive he finds you.

Whatever happens, remember that you are a confident risk taker and should be proud of taking the initiative. Just try being more honest next time.



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