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Using Faith to Find Love

Dear Philippa,

I just read your book (4 Steps to bring the Right Person into your life Right Now!) and would like to know how I can incorporate my Christian faith into my search for the right woman?

�Ray, Chicago, IL


Dear Ray,

Beliefs, religious practices, faith, and spirituality are such personal matters. So I'll respond by sharing my own philosophy and hope that will help you figure out how to use your personal faith in your search.

One of my favorite fortune cookie phrases says: "Pray for what you want and work for what you need."

As with the devoutly religious woman who prayed to God daily asking to win the lottery so she could overcome poverty, God asks us to help him out and at least buy one lottery ticket. In other words, I believe faith is not just a matter of waiting with hope. I believe that as intelligent, capable beings we obtain our goals and dreams in this world by learning through our life experiences and taking action�not just waiting for things to happen by divine intervention.

If we sit at home and pray we may become more enlightened but until we open the door and step out and take action in the world based on our faith, it's unlikely that Ms. Right will just appear, unless she's the Avon lady in disguise.

Before I developed the "4 Step" process that helped me meet and marry my Mr. Right, I used to walk and run in nature and ask God to bring me someone who could share all this beauty with me. I prayed for what I wanted but I didn't know what I had to do to find what I needed.

I once met a man who seemed just right. He loved trees and God as much as I did. But I hadn't yet figured out the kind of person with whom I could be happiest. I thought this man was the one but he wasn't over another relationship. I prayed again telling God about the pain of this loss and asked why he'd sent the wrong man to me. I thought God was like some Genie that just granted me my wishes.

Then I figured out that I had to buy my lottery ticket�I had to do my homework so I would recognize the right man. I continued praying for guidance while I went through each of the "4 Steps". I listened to my heart and soul and I accepted that meeting all the bozos and the almost Mr. Rights was practice so I would learn to recognize the right one.

And it worked. I allowed myself to get to know an incredible human being that wasn't my usual type. I used my faith to open myself up so I wouldn't be concerned about getting hurt. I knew I was being guided. When the answer came it was clear and without doubt. The timing for both of us was perfect, decisions were made without effort, and major life changes flowed easily. I had prayed and taken action by preparing myself while all along looking to God for guidance.

We all have our own vision of how God works in our lives. You need to find the best way to practice your faith and integrate it with action in order to achieve your goal. Do you see yourself working alongside God, using the gifts he has given you? Do you see God as an all-powerful creator with rules that when followed produces specific rewards? When you can reconcile your faith with the efforts you make to meet your Ms. Right, then not only will she will appear, but you will know without a doubt that she is the one.




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