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New Year's Resolution for Love

Dear Philippa,

I told all my friends that 2001 is the year I'm going to meet my wife to be and I could tell by their faces that they were thinking: yeah, right. It's hard to stay positive when everyone else around you seems to have someone special.

�Sonny, New Mexico


Dear Sonny,

If you could find your Ms. Right in your Christmas stocking or Hanukah hamper what would she be like?

Can you describe a perfect day that you and she would share? Include all the details about how you both feel together and how you respond to each other, what you talk about, etc? Don't worry about picturing what she physically looks like. Remember that she's still under wraps inside your holiday gift box.

Put on your favorite music and enjoy the fantasy, even write about it if you like. This is your private time to imagine all the wonderful moments you are about share together. Edit out the critical and cynical voices in your head. This is your private world. Only positive expressions are allowed.

Everyone who wants to meet Ms. or Mr. Right in 2001 should be doing this. Olympic athletes, astronauts and inventors use visualization to achieve their objectives. Seeing, believing and visualizing that your goal is already accomplished is the best way to make it happen. Let the words of your friends get lost in the wind. People forget how much effort and heartache it takes to find true love.

Five and half years ago I felt horribly alone and I was grieving the loss of my father. One day I was lying on my sofa, lost in some wonderful music and I could picture in my mind the kind of man I wanted to meet and how it felt to be held in his arms. I couldn't see his face but the feelings we shared were so strong. I wrote about this person in my journal and a few months later I met the very man that I had so clearly described in my mind. He and I are now very happily married and celebrate the anniversary of the day we met every month.

I was listening to some pop rock in the gym the other day and the lyrics said something like this: "If you don't like who you are, then change your mind." Changing your mindset is the key you are seeking to dealing with loneliness.

If you make only one New Year's resolution this year, make it to see in your mind the world that you and your special loved one will share. I know then that you will soon be living the reality you dreamed was possible.




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