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Love in Different Time Zones

Dear Philippa,

I recently fell for a woman who I know is the one. We have so much fun together and we have everything in common, including our Christianity. I knew she was everything I wanted after our second date. The thing is she now seems to be rebelling from her faith. She's crazy about some divorced guy whose twice her age and has 2 kids. She doesn't seem to care about all we have in common and that her parents would be thrilled if it was me she was seeing and not the other guy. She said if we'd met a year ago it would be different and she agrees that dating me would be the smart thing to do. She even has offered to set me up with someone else. But I can't get her out of my mind. What can I do to get her to want to be with me?

�Richard, Fort Worth, TX


Dear Richard,

Deep inside you probably already know that the answer to your question is that it is time to move on.

You call this lady rebellious. Try to see her actions as adventure seeking or discovering who she is. Yes it is probably a stage that she is going through. These stages can last for a year or sometimes a lot longer. It's not unnatural for a young lady who is emerging into womanhood to choose a path that seems exciting or even risky. And just as some older men seek the company of very young females, some younger women seek older men. The older man seems to open up a new, thrilling world to the younger woman. Just look at actress Lara Flynn Boyle and Jack Nicholson.

Not every young woman is going through her older man stage. And not every Christian woman is out there sewing her oats. The painful truth is that this one is, and no matter how much you have in common your clocks are set on different time zones. She told you so when she said if you'd met a year ago things would have been different. The fact is, even if you both had connected a year ago she still could have had that itch to experiment.

I know how cheated and angry you can feel when you fall hard for someone and the timing is off. You say to yourself, everything is so perfect, so why can't this person realize that we're made for each other? But everything is not perfect. The other person is emotionally unavailable.

Most importantly, you deserve someone who is emotionally open and ready to share herself with you. You deserve someone who shares not only your religious faith, but your religious lifestyle as well.

Focus on all the aspects you appreciate about this woman and make a mental note to seek these attributes in others. There is a wonderful woman waiting for you and this time you'll be better prepared to recognize her when you find her.




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