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March 8, 2001                                                                         CONTACT: Bob Fiske / 503-353-8840

Gender Equity & The Price Of Love

So Who Pays For Dinner?

Despite all the emphasis on gender equality it's anything but clear who picks up the tab on a date. There are plenty of bozos and bozettes in this world who always expect their date to pay for the meal. Women don't want to appear controlling and men resent women who don't offer to share expenses.

Philippa Courtney, advice columnist and author of "4 Steps to bring the Right Person into your life Right Now!" says people have different styles of handling money. She advises singles to understand their own financial style and then find people who relate to money in a compatible way so the ebb and flow of who pays for what and when won't be an issue. Courtney offers these tips.

Money is not a currency for companionship. Spending big bucks doesn't entitle you to anything, nor does the pleasure of your company entitle you to a free meal.

Figure out your financial style. Examine how you pay bills, spend money on entertainment and save. Ask questions, study spending and saving habits and find someone with a style like yours.

Start out with coffee dates and lunches. Save the big nights out for later when you and your date know each other better. The only thing worse than a bad date is an expensive bad date.

Stay true to your pocketbook. If you do the inviting, you pay the tab, so select a place you can afford. If your date suggests somewhere more expensive then let them know the limitations of your budget. Your date then has the option of suggesting another place or offering to go Dutch.

Be romantic without the restaurant. If you can't afford to take someone out to dinner, plan a picnic or cook a meal at home. Surprise your date with a baked goodie when they're working late.

Communicate clearly. If you suggest eating out, your date may assume it's your treat. Make it clear if you want to share expenses. If you intend to pay or split the tab, discuss it before you arrive at the restaurant-don't wait until the bill arrives.

Turn a casual meal into a memorable moment. Make the neighborhood joint "your place"-give your date a flower, light a candle, and hold hands.

Attract what you want. Instead of saying you don't want someone cheap, say: "I want someone who knows how to save and invest, yet is willing to spend what is necessary to enjoy life."

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Trade Paperback / $14.95 / 1-58639-000-7
Author: Philippa Courtney



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