P R E S S R E L E A S E
Holiday & New Year's Gifts for the Unattached
12 Ways to Find More Love During Trying Times
The events of September 11th made us feel vulnerable and more appreciative of having loved ones close. But what if you are away from loved ones, single, divorced, or widowed during the holidays?
Now more than ever, people need to know how to connect with each other at a more meaningful level.
Philippa Courtney, columnist and author of "4 Steps to Bring the Right Person into Your Life Right Now!", offers these Twelve Gifts as a way to help the unattached find renewed hope during the holidays and throughout the new year:
Forgive yourself. All your mistakes and regrets are in the past. It's time to move on with a new view of yourself and your life. This is the beginning of an exciting new chapter. Turn the page.
See singleness as a stage. Use this precious time to discover what makes you happy and the kind of person you want in your life so you will recognize them when they appear.
Accept yourself. You don't need to become someone else to find love. There is no greater joy than having someone love you just as you are, warts and all. Look at the people who already like you---see yourself through their eyes and know that others will too.
Unpeel labels that limit you. You are not your lack-of-hair, divorce, weight, lost job, physical challenge or chronological age. These are excuses, not explanations for why you are unattached. Your spirit defines you. See that and others will too.
See friendship as a priority. All the qualities you enjoy in a friend can and should also be in your romantic relationships. Realize that friendship and romance need to coexist to form a foundation on which relationships can endure.
Give bad dates the heave-ho. Date a variety of people to get a clearer sense of the type of person you want to be with. Don't clutter your life with people you don't like or make you feel uncomfortable. Make room for the good ones.
Focus on how you feel about yourself when you're with someone, not on how the other person feels about you. Choose to be around people with whom you feel good and the right ones will find you.
Exercise your funny bone. Laugh at the absurdity of the situations and people that you meet and you'll survive the dates with bozos and bozettes. Laugh at life and others will smile with you.
Take your dates off the pedestal. Instead of chasing the unattainable, or being unattainable when you're chased, seek a relationship based on being real and your relationships will be too.
Ignore negative statistics. Everyday people over-forty find love, short, bald men get married, and full-figured women are adored. Focus on the supply not the shortages, then your life will always be filled with love.
Accept the cycles. You need space in your life to let your wounds heal or you risk sabotaging your next relationships. The lonely times will pass quicker by finding solace in friendships and supporting others.
Show genuine interest in others. Listen to people; remember the things they tell you and your sincere attention will mean more than all the fancy cars and fabulous looks.
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People from all over the world write to Courtney about the challenges of being single. Her "AskPhilippa" advice column is published weekly in magazine and dating web sites. (http://www.AskPhilippa.com/Advice.htm)